Gig report - and last post?

The atmosphere before the gig was palpably expectant.  Burton in Lonsdale’s village hall looked like a rock venue; Kate Vose and her team had done an amazing job; the backdrop was brilliant; the lighting looked great; Simon, who had been working most of the afternoon to get the sound mix right, stood by his desk…there were imperceptible nods.

As the first notes of the old Chuck Berry number, ‘Roll Over Beethoven’ sliced through the air like audio kitchen knives, the audience sat up: perhaps this was a serious music event after all?  Immediately, some abandoned their bottles of Pinot and sherry and streamed onto the dance floor.  And really, that set the tone for the rest of the gig.  At times, the gyrating dancers were in danger of joining the band; mic stands were nudged.  By the end of the evening, it was probably only those who were incapable of getting up that weren’t on the floor, doing their personal impressions of the jive and so on.  Purists can say what they like – originality is best, but people enjoy a good covers band because they know most of the songs.  And the Stains were plainly there to entertain.

The numbers ranged from the Big O’s ‘Pretty Woman’ to ZZ Top’s ‘Sharp Dressed Man’, with a smattering of Clash, Blur and Killers.  Quieter moments in the 30-odd two set performance included ‘Under the Bridge’ and ‘Do You Want To Know A Secret’; the band even pelted out a competent rendition of the Dooby’s funky ‘Long Train Running’, found time to dedicate a rocking ‘Let’s Work Together’ to the Parish Council and, in homage to another (much more expensive) gig the following day at London’s O2, a fairly wild version of ‘Brown Sugar’.

At the end, the group seemed unprepared for the persistent demands for an encore.  Actually, they were – no band should do forced encores – but in the end the Stains reprised ‘Johnny B Goode’ and everyone seemed pretty content with that.  Especially Marie.  By then, of course, it was way past everyone's bedtime.

It should be added that the profits from the event, together with additional money raised from a raffle organised by Andy Ive, will put much needed cash toward Burton in Lonsdale’s Parish Plan.  So, overall – a highly successful evening, thanks to everyone who bought a ticket and helped make it work, including the long-suffering Carole and Amanda.  A particular word should go to Simon Willan, who not only loaned the PA but also worked like a Trojan getting the sound mix right.  A link to his own band, the superb ‘Swarm’ used to be included on the right but, alas, they have ceased flying.

Finally, is this the last post?  Probably.  Unlike Bond, the Stains have no plans to be back.

The final practice

Well, the Stains spent more than 6 hours yesterday running through the set.  They think they mostly know when each number starts and ends now, and even how some of the bits in the middle go.  If not, it’s a bit late really.  Tomorrow, the Nottingham contingent will load up drums, guitars, amps etc and trek the 160 or so miles up north, to be welcomed with hot food and beer.  The PA is organised, thanks to Simon.  Kate is looking after the decoration.  Andy is sorting out a raffle.  And on Saturday evening, those discerning Burton residents who have decided to have a bit of fun and support the band, as well as the Parish Plan, will flock to the Village Hall – some of them not even bothering with a disguise – to witness the Stains bestriding the landscape like a rock colossus.

One, possibly disappointing, piece of news: at the last minute, it has been decided not to do a cover of “Two Little Boys”.  Shame!  Was this ever an option?  Er… no.

What about the music?

With only a fortnight to go before the farewell gig, people who don’t know the Stains keep asking what kind of music the band will play.  This might be considered essential information by those who find the terms ‘rock’ or ‘pop’ too imprecise, recognise that one person’s idea of ‘fun’ is another’s purgatory, or, for reasons best known to themselves, are reluctant to commit to parting with money, even in a good cause.  Well, like a bride’s dress, the details of the Stains’ set are a closely guarded secret.  Even the members of the band find it hard to remember all the numbers.  But, we’ll try to help…

The music will be an eclectic mix of tunes from the 1950s to the noughties.  So it will include a few old standards as well as ones that people under 30 will know (at least in their original form).  If you listen to Radios 1 or 2, you’ll be fairly safe; most of the numbers are played, at one time or another, on those stations - but probably not on Radio 4 and definitely not on Radio 3.  The majority are in 4:4 time.  The lyrics range from the banal to the incomprehensible and cover fascinating themes like unrequited love, requited love, boy meets girl, rock ‘n’ roll, disaster and some we’re not too sure about.  Hope that helps.  Now – go and buy a ticket before they all sell out.